Friday, April 29, 2011
OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS FOLLOW SUPERMAN'S EXAMPLE
British super-spy, James Bond renounces his citizenship in an upcoming new novel. The publisher announced today that they are cancelling all orders on the previously scheduled novel, CARTE BLANCHE, by Jeffrey Deaver and announcing a street date for an entirely different novel.
This is the bold direction of the new CAPT. PLANET: WHEN A MULLET CRIES animated film recently rushed into production by Hanna Barbera and produced by Ted Turner and Michael Bay.
Sliding desperately into extreme and emasculated depression, Capt. Planet publicly renounces his allegiance to Gaia and leaves Earth to choose a planet without ecological diversity or humanity to protect.
Tarzan abdicates Lordship of the Apes
In the first officially sanctioned novel since THE DARK HEART OF TIME by Philip Jose Farmer in 1999, Tarzan returns in TARZAN, MAN OF THE PEOPLE by acclaimed Hollywood screenwriter and director Joe Ezterhaus.
The Burroughs estate explains in a press release that this is the natural progression of the character and recommends people read the story before criticizing. They assert that Tarzan's creator, Edgar Rice Burroughs, always intended Tarzan to abdicate his Ape-ship and become a global political powerhouse.
All I can say is...."Un-GA-wa!!"
Blondie divorces Dagwood
Pluto emancipates himself from Mickey Mouse
No longer will Pluto be lapping water and trotting around faithfully behind his brutal mouse master. Here on out, Pluto can stand up tall and join Goofy as an intelligent and talented leader in the global community of cartoon dog people. "As voiced by the brilliant Freddie Prinze, Jr., we expect this incarnation of Pluto to become an icon of freedom and animal's rights throughout the world," Disney said in a press release.
And Scooby-Doo wept.